John at Disney
The 4th of July is upon us, which means that you’ve got to start getting prepared for how much American beer you can drink before you dangerously play with fireworks. Your Aunt Judy will show up with one of those American flag cakes (you know, the ones with Cool Whip and strawberries and blueberries on top) and your dad will make hamburgers so burned that they’re virtually unrecognizable. It’s a tradition.
In the spirit of this beloved and historic summer holiday, here are 7 patriotic products to get you revved up for the 4th of July. GO USA!
1. Awesome Since 1776 T-Shirt ($29, US of Awesome): Sure, you could just wear some combination of red, white, and blue to your backyard BBQ, but why not make a bolder statement with this Awesome Since 1776 T-shirt? It’s perfectly boisterous. And—$1 from every t-shirt sale goes to charities looking to make America more awesome (specifically, Why Hunger and The Bill of Rights Institute). Not bad, right?
2. George Washington Serving Tray ($29, Jonathan Adler): George Washington—the father of our nation, the guy who couldn’t tell a lie and had wooden teeth—sure would look great underneath a big platter of your mom’s homemade bruschetta. This serving tray with old George’s face on it can make that dream a reality.
3. The Presidents DVD Set ($90, Kohl’s): There are two stages of you liking PBS in your life: 1.) when you are a tiny child and you want to watch Sesame Street and 2.) when you become old enough to appreciate a good documentary. Face it—you turn a certain age and suddenly you can’t get enough of documentaries. This 17-disc set on nearly all United States presidents is filled with good gossip that will keep you entertained for HOURS and keep your conversations topical at your 4th of July BBQ.
4. Brew Free or Die IPA (21st Amendment Brewery): 21st Amendment is an American craft brewery that prides itself on offerings like Fireside Chat (with FDR on the can), Bitter American, and this Brew Free or Die IPA. The can, emblazoned with American presidents past, will be great to sip while you’re watching the fireworks or debating whether or not Sally Field should have won an Oscar for her crazypants portrayal of crazypants Mary Todd Lincoln.
5. Jefferson’s Bourbon: Even though Thomas Jefferson’s monument in Washington, DC is far less trafficked than the more popular Lincoln Memorial, Jefferson was an incredibly important figure in early American history. His inquisitive nature made him the inspiration for this very, very small batch bourbon that bares his name. Drinking this bourbon is the most patriotic thing you could do this 4th, and you know it.
6. Ford Balsam Pillow ($32, Izola): Without preeminent American businessman Henry Ford, we wouldn’t have cars or the assembly line method of production. The guy was chock full of business advice, and this balsam pillow is printed with one of his best quotes, “Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice.” Never mind the basic translation of this is “stop being lazy”—this pillow will remind you to work hard while simultaneously keeping your drawers smelling like pine trees.
7. Abraham Lincoln Bandages ($5, Perpetual Kid): Abraham Lincoln is one of our most beloved presidents, and this box of bandages with his likeness on it will surely heal your wound like he healed our country.